Break A Take (only the 2016 Hamilton fans will get this one)
It’s hard to leave home and come to a new place where you don’t know anyone. Yeah, sure that is going to be something that everyone tells you but the reality of it is quite true. Every couple of days I get hit with an intense home sickness that isn’t quite cured by a bothersome call to my mom just to tell her about the two story Taco Bell and Chic Fil A, and yes I have called her just to tell her about those. She definitely hates me for it. But when there is nothing for you to do but work in a big city where no one really cares it's hard to feel like a human.
While working a show this past week I have done the wonderful task of giving myself a minor concussion, and being a little nervous nelly, I vlogged to my mother to tell her about my latest death sentence. I ended up quite upset because I’d been working from 12 to 10 every day for about two weeks and didn’t feel like a person. I missed my friends, my mom, my dog, and honestly just having time to myself. I was also in tech for two shows and knew I would need to begin my job hunt again (if you have a position open, call me ;))I didn’t really see what I was working for, and on top of that my head hurt. I expressed all of this to my camera, and when I woke up I had a wonderful response from my dear Jennifer. She reminded me to look forward to my days off, find something that would excite me enough to really look forward to the day. Not just sleeping in for an extra hour, but going for a walk, reading a book I was excited about, find a new restaurant to try, calling a friend. There should be a work life balance and that is quite hard to achieve.
The constant job hunt is quite draining and makes me wonder if this is really what I want to do. Is the joy I get from my work enough to satisfy me even if I have to find a new job every month and a half. Yet things move so quickly. This past weekend I closed a small show that I thoroughly enjoyed and felt like I was making a real connection with the piece and performers. It’s new theatre, new artists, and powerful messages. Working that while working another show, which is also new theatre, with some new artists, but plenty of kind people. Both of these opportunities kind of just fell onto me. I have to make sure that as long as I am applying, putting myself out there, and making connections while I have opportunities I am doing the right things. I have to let it take the time and not give up hope. There will not always be a show to run into the next, and even then sometimes you get hired with only a days notice.
The moral of all this, is take the time for yourself to be a human. And come see Ashes and Ink, tell them I sent you. Get us transferred so I can keep my job <3.
xoxo,
Randa
